none but Jesus.

Tonight my boyfriend Mike and I went for our daily walk/run. We live in Bella Vista- the very title of our 'home' in Australia is one of peace, perfection and delight. I even live three doors away from one of the Worlds biggest Churches. HILLSONG! So- on our walk... talking, laughing and just enjoying time with one another. We come across the usual 'lovers-in-the-car' couples parked beside the Norwest lake, then further round we came across a familiar man. I have met this man once before, well... said 'hello' in that Christian tone. Tonight, this man wore the same clothes as last week when I first met him and this time he was sleeping on the bench. I realized something was somewhat different about this man last week, but I didn't want to presume that anything was wrong. Tonight I saw him in his desperation. This man is homeless- for whatever reason recently he has lost his place of rest, his family perhaps. He didn't know we were watching him, or even talking about him. Now I hear the rain fall deeply outside my Bella Vista home and wonder if he is still asleep. If he will curl up on his bench and if he will wake tomorrow wishing he had lived another life. 

Imagine, you don't have to go to the biggest City or poorest country to find the broken, poor or needy. 

I hope to see him tomorrow. I hope to offer him something more than a Christian 'tone'. 

what a friend we have in Jesus...

The other night in church we sang the old hymn, what a friend we have in Jesus. This song is just stuck in my head now- Kathryn Scott has a champion version on one of her albums. Its such a simple reflection of a pure love. But these things, (simple reflection and pure love) are not the norm. We make it so hard- so difficult. In some ways it's a song I criticize with my own Christianity. I mean, All our sins and griefs to bear, what a privilege to carry everything in prayer? I guarantee that my prayers are sometimes not privileged. My prayers admit to my failures, they admit to my lack. I have trials and temptations- there is trouble everywhere, my pain is needless? Is my pain not what drives me to rescue the perishing? My pain is my biggest joy. My joy is my biggest pain. What a flipping oxy-moron! My pain that others don't know Him, is also my biggest JOY- I have Him. My most heartfelt sorrow is that He is not the 'found friend' to some of my best friends. I struggle with this song, yet I find Him in it. This good wrestle reminds me of someone else who got their hip knocked out of place, I wrestle because I wont leave my civilized Christianity alone. I wont leave until I am changed. It's like what Erwin McManus says in His book The Barbarian Way, If Jesus would not avoid the 'place of the skull', then we should not be surprised where He might lead us. If even He found himself sweating blood at Gethsemane, then we should be certain we will stand in crisis moments where all we can do after asking for relief is declare, ' Not my will will, but yours.' I want to live fully alive. No more self Help Christianity, Im sooooo done with all that. If it means standing buck naked in the wilderness, eating locusts and honey, having my head chopped off, being chased out of churches, being chased out of my home, being tortured in prison. ALL FOR THE SAKE OF CHRIST?  Count me in.

Finding the place...

Tonight I went out with a friend to an amazing little Sydney-ite place... I say Sydney-ite because you really have to have lived here all your life to know it exists. This such place is called Gondivas: A vegetarian Indian restaurant (ok sounds crap so far...) with its own cinema. The idea is you eat the buffet, all you can eat I might add. Then kick your shoes off and "LIE DOWN" to watch your fav movie. We choose a Frenchy film about the war called female agents. Brilliant nights craic, and then went out to a French patisserie for dessert, shared a huge chocolate thing and a pot of chamomile tea. It was a fantastic time spent with a friend I only get to catch up with every few months. 

The point to my blog is that this place exists in the Cross... funny name- but this is where the hookers and gay people live/ hang out/ do business. Not the sort of place you would go on a Saturday night... My point... you find treasures in the most unlikely places, the places where you hinder to go. This treasure I will remember and bring new friends along...

im not going to lie....

Today I have been challenged so much by so many circumstances in peoples lives. From the simplest of meetings I have concerning my job, to visiting a three year old who has just won the victory over leukemia. Reading some old journal entries from a sort of friend who lost a loved one a few years back. I'm not going to lie- they move me more than any song or book. I cannot get over how real and raw God is. I feel like I have been living a dormant Christianity for the past few years. Passion? Don't even get me started on passion... This rush of blood through my reviving body is so real, so inexplainable and I can't get enough. The power of life is magnificent. I praise God for the beautiful girl who had to dance with Jesus, for the true son whose heart loved her more than anyone and for his lyrics of heart that have transformed mine tonight. 

Heidi and Lilly-Rose

Visiting Jesus Again

Today I had the privilege to visit a beautiful mum and daughter at the Ronald Mc Donald homes beside the Westmead Children's Hospital. I got to hear the story of their beautiful daughter aged 3- their struggle and VICTORY over leukemia. This year has been one never planned, expected or imagined- but through it all GOD PREVAILS! I left with a greater COLOUR in the painting of Jesus. His true self showed up. This family will go down in my memory bank as those with the greatest revelation power of the Gospel. Thank God for visiting Jesus. 

depths of love

Today in my class I gathered inside of me shouts of "Hallelujah" tears of thankfulness and a deeper and more intimate relationship with my father. 

 The day began with my Evangelism class, this already is changing me- but every week there is just something NEW. This week as we follow Bill Hybels book 'just walk across the room' I am more impacted by the testimonies of real people and how they have always wanted the 'God element' and over years of relationships, despite the christian judgements and down-casting they faced, there was this deep hunger for the real stuff- and its only when some radical, real life person invades their world as a 'true' disciple that they are offered reconciliation. Is it really that hard to be authentic? Why do we struggle so much with this heart facet of the Father. I am shocked even at my own state of life... I came to Australia with my matching pink luggage to come and study at BIBLE college, yet in just one year I managed to rule out all prospective relationships with people who don't know Jesus. The BIG PROBLEM? emmm well I wasn't that concerned- why? because all the Christians I know are not that concerned either. Sad fact, why? because we seem to rule out these non-believers as if they can harm us, or because they might reject us- our ways, our friendships, our meetings...  I want truth- full stop my heart is aching for the lost and I will do anything, anything to see God in real life colors again. I honestly believe our lack of miraculous and all that jazz, is not because we don't believe enough, more so because we are not doing the 'acts' of the New Covenant Church. We are responsible for our sphere of life and all who enter. What will it really take to get that the bigger picture is not about what we can get from them- a salvation a year, a limited Christian walk that we don't nurture. RATHER we can OFFER ourselves, fully, without limits to their salvation process. I long for this in my heart. I don't want to be known by God if others cannot know him because of me. 

The next journey in my day was in my Christian Ethics class, we had a guest lecturer Simon. He didn't really give much of his testimony to begin with- just told us why he was lecturing us (works with Christians who struggle with homosexuality) I already had a respect for him bringing us to face such a disputed part of relationships in the Church. The room was silent as he began to share his testimony. It wasn't the fluffiest testimony in the world, I was dumbfounded that someone could face such a life of pain and torture. This stuff isn't even in the  movies... at the end he said something that changed my life as if I just got saved all over again. He said, " It wasn't easy, it's a bloody war out there. BUT JESUS IS WORTH EVERY BIT OF IT" I could have yelled at the top of my lungs, I could have written ten billion praise songs in that one second. I could have died and not known it- this was the greatest moment of life I have ever witnessed. I felt that like a thousand rocks pounding in my heart, I felt it like all four seasons swept over my face, I felt it like I was born again. I was. 

I love white

Upon beginning this blog journey, I had to choose a color sort of thing for the background. WHITE is clean, easy simple and looks pretty good to wear. I love white everything... my housemates will tell you that in Australia I have become obsessed with painting all my furniture white. I have white linen on my bed. I have a white desk. I have a white old chinese engraved chest.I have a white chair. My bin is white. My teeth are Americanly white thanks to American best friends who bring me CREST WHITE STRIPS! (I already have really white teeth, but after hearing that apparently U.K. people are seen by Americans as having the worst teeth- I began to notice on T.V!) I like white shirts. I have a white journal. I do say this is a pretty neat color. I mean everyone looks good in white, even if you are Irish and pale white skinned... 

I reckon, in my weird, creative and oh so Irish-ness that God created white, not for the boring- but the daring. You have to dare to wear white. I challenge you who think white is boring... wear it for one day and see if you can resist spilling something... GO ON! Dare YOU!