These things I know...

In all, in the end I can only trust in God.

That patience is necessary for preparation.

That fruit will always show a man's heart.

That season MUST change.

That God is only, ultimately, faithful truly.

That I am not perfect, nor am I near perfections road.

I have many years to live, but only this moment once.

That I cannot afford to live in loneliness.

That promotion to be true, must only come from God.

That Hope and Faith are different, unique, but they go hand in hand and never equate to an easy life.

That even though I try, I am always the unfaithful one in this divine conspiracy.

That things don't turn out how I had planned or expected, yes... they are always better.

That I am always free.

That I was born, created, exist and live for liberation, freedom precisely.

That trial, failure and heartache have made me a more beautiful home for my heart. They keep me un-calloused, renewable and effective for His purposes.

That my souls comfort has only one home.

To be who I believe, want, seek and desire I must only find these things within Jesus Christ.

That my purpose, identity and worth are not ever found in people, places, names or titles.

That I must seek truth before any falsehood.

That authenticity and genuine honesty are the traits which enable me to trust.

Anxious

Feeling a sense of anxiousness today. More like anticipation.... maybe? I read last night that anxiety is just something important tapping on your shoulder. Pretty decent eh?

I don't desire my circumstances to determine my trust in my Father. It's a strange paradigm, because God is in the little things, and in the Big. He is with Us. Yet He is different to Us. He is near, yet He seems far. He became like Us, yet He is not like Us. God I am feeling the shift between you being my Earthly friend and Saviour and you being this ever divine God.

I'm listening. I'm waiting for You.

sufficient.

can we breathe for a minute dear

catch our breath and loose our fears

for we know that throughout the years

we can smile.

its not long till you find your way

cover marks and unravel locks

there is much to be said for now

but we will smile dear.

we can make it a better place

we can draw out love and grace

offered to us from our delight above

giving us this truth in love.

is it time to be on your way

listen to ideas and live today

so gather your baggage and be on your way

you can wander with a smile.

seamless.

It's the wind that keeps whispering when you are near,

the call and the confidence of being held dear.

I'm seamless. Seamless when I'm with you.

It cuts through my veins, through my bones to the core,

to experience more of me, and still there is more.

this seamless ragamuffin is tossed once more.

Around again, the story goes of the fall, the wasteland and the tall walls.

she sews up her sides, her wounds and her pride. Still seamless once more.

new.

You make all things new.

Casting aside my fears this Truth.

Faithful to all who will come near.

Whispering softly, My dear.

Hither I went and found your lap.

Safely kept. I lay, I went for a nap.

Morning to come, and I was made new.

The mirror did tell it was not me, but You.

{Picture Little Fine Day}

intoxicating.

For you are the worth in my soul. The price they bore, that made me broke. And broke me whole. Intoxicated by how you look at me, when freshly I don't know you. I look to you and I am not merely amazed. I look to you and I find the intoxicating desires I have been longing for this whole existence. Exposed to the ravens and crows, my beating drum is broken, there are holes inside. And there is nothing left in my tank. I have nothing left to offer the broken, for I am one of them. I want to trust again, but I am afraid of the operatic thunder storms which did brew behind me. Are they gone forever? Are they gone for good? Will they return again and will that damned raven steal my soul again? These questions are limitless, there are no answers for me here. The pondering and desires find their way back home. I want to get lost in you. I want to breathe into my parched lungs again. Are you the one I can trust? Be awakened my soul. Do not be broken no more.

resolve. preference.

Embarking on this beautiful new decade, there are things to which I must resolve and things to which I prefer and therefore I work towards. It has honestly been the most difficult year of my life thus far, but in many ways the most exhilarating journey. I feel as though I have been shipwrecked, a cast away and now upon gathering my feet again I get to explore this bountiful land with which I find myself. There are new things to taste, to sense and most all of them are foreign to me. So I set the vision clear, whilst watching the boats of the past drift off into small shapes in my long sighted eyes. I set the vision so that I don't get confused, so that I don't side track or move with tides of emotions. There is treasure to be had, treasure that was always here but I wasn't ready to find. I have nothing but sheer gutsy determination and intuitive natures to guild me. I trust myself more than ever, I trust this intuition because it became my friend a long time ago. I trust this intuition because it is my warning bell, I've learned that I can do this, that I am more than capable, that I have these particular guts because there is much treasure to be found. I say goodbye to old friends, dear ones and loves not because I didn't love them, but because time came and time left. They have their own treasure to find, and I wish them well. This new decade brewds over me, changes the ancient skies to glow above colours of gold and blinding whites, they give peace to the storms which brought me here. I am safe and sound. I am here now...