Speak and I shall be still.

There deems a tormented message to push its way into my heart. It tells me to deny love, to be alone, to be walled in, fenced, bricked, driven to solitary confinement sharing only the confines of security. I read this quote at the beginning of the year, penned it into my journal, my notebook and anything worth having really. Not a joyful quote, more of a threat. Not comfortable, not cautious. This is the warning for my year, no mantra or moto - this is the threat of what I want to be/not to be.

My dearest lover C.S. wrote such,

{ "To love is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless- It will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable." }