Prodigal.

Of recent times I have been the prodigal. Well let's face it, I am the prodigal. I have learned that Grace cannot be understood, no matter how much someone might talk me through it's qualities. I have no relative understanding in my mind of what it exactly is. I am mesmerized by it. Intoxicated by it's power and I have a crush on it's beauty. I cannot begin to explain away this grace I have been given.

On this journey of learning Jesus and the incarnation I have a sort of expectation of what I think my relationship will become... so far anyway... I want to know God in secrets that are 'Ours' I want the type of relationship with Him that is always connected to humanities plight, but not that of a rampant cause. There can be so much 'hype' about the Church, but truly, deeply I believe her plight is not for titles and embellishments, but to be clean-true-pure-holy. Of the Spirit, there has to be so much more than what I have already experienced, yet I know what I have experienced of such divinity is more than most. I desire connectedness with His spirit, because of Truth. The scripture in Romans 8 speaks to me with such truth I desire...

Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture: None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I'm absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.

I want the conviction of this scripture to embrace the today I live in. I want Jesus, fully. Without walls... I want Him without propriety. I want to know him, the carpenter, the neighbor and the one whom it was said was full of sorrows and acquainted with grief. I want to know why He would come for us, be like us. Be with us. Emmanuel.