Love this Katie Melua song- it speaks to my soul. Gosh there are some things that come and go in life where you can do nothing but cry. I'm not sure what young Katie was meaning when she wrote the song, but I take it as saying goodbye to something which has to leave despite the despair of saying goodbye.
There are things I have to say goodbye to even when they have been the happiest moments/times/days/friends in life. It is so raw. When you cannot say goodbye- but there is no other option. Grief is something so violent. It comes in different disguises. It is a deep inner cry that unleashes itself upon your tear stained pillow, it is the anger in a moment when you should feel nothing. It is the scream inside you feel when you are angry at yourself because you cannot afford yourself to be angry at anyone else.
When I was a kid I could afford to not say goodbye. Life was so full at that age that the only thing you wanted was a 'hello', now goodbye seems my daily mantra. Goodbye to youth. Goodbye to times of sheer joy. Goodbye to friends. Goodbye to mistakes. Goodbye to inspiration. Goodbye to the dreamer. Goodbye to freedom. Goodbye to love.
Oh how I wish it was not so.
I cried for you and the sky cried for you.
When you went I became a hopeless drifter.
This life was not for you, though I learned from you- that beauty need only be a whisper.
Beauty need only be a whisper. The beauty of what was, is no longer.
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