Tuesday, May 5, 2009

pedagogue

The other day I was enjoying a few broken minutes of time between study and I decided to do a little personality survey. I have done many of these before as it seems in a Leadership College they are a bit obsessed with helping you find out what type of person you are, what you are great at and also how to help you strengthen in the weaker areas. So... after a few years of saying I am a choleric sanguine I decided to find out the other 'me' of leadership. After a few odd forty questions it was there... ENFJ Extrovert, Intellectual, Feeling, Judging. The quiz took me through what sort of person I most likely am, what my strengths were and my most horrid weaknesses in friendships, personhood and even relationships are. I have to say everything was correct with the exception of one sentence. Pretty good eh?! 

After examination of my personality I came across an incident where I realized something life changing. I only ever come across people who will either love me, think I am the bees knees, or... I come across people who absolutely hate me- no matter what I have done. In the past years I have found this most difficult to swallow, feeling insecure, trying to find a middle ground with that person etc... to no avail. I have no clue what the combination of 'me' that is so detestable, but generally I come across one person per year that just can't stand me. I used to feel so upset because I could not make them like me, or persuade them to see a nicer side to me. After spending my wasted energies I have learned that it's o.k. not to like everyone and that I can continue to be myself proudly and to not shrink back and to continue in love. I have come to be more confident from learning this and accepting of who I am. There is nobody like me, nobody like you. The World would be missing something if you didn't exist. It's not about people pleasing, otherwise World leaders would cower into corners, and it's not about everyone liking you, that doesn't sit well either. It's about making the difference that only YOU can make. make it a good difference... 

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