Where is the best place on the Earth?

Final and ultimate answer:

Sydney

reason 1. in Winter it feels like summer

reason 2. you can avoid the extreme heat with air conditioning

reason 3. everyone is happy because of the weather

reason 4. you can wear cute summer dresses in Winter

reason 5. they started making percy pigs

reason 6. you can go to church everyday @ Hillsong

reason 7. you can make lots of money painting

reason 8. the beach is not just one place, but many each with their own personalities

reason 9. it is a city of many cultures which means you can eat many varieties of food

reason 10. there are mountains in view from my house

reason 11. everything you could want is within a few hours drive

reason 12. you can skype home

reason 13. in four years of living here I am still finding new things to do

reason 14. the Australian accent begins to sound normal

reason 15. the gum trees and eucalyptus trees are beautiful

reason 16. having a tan makes you look half alive

reason 17. when it rains, its fun!

reason 18. the skies at sundown are spectacular

reason 19. there's a place called 3 Darcy street and a family that are pretty special

reason 20. Why would you want to live anywhere else?

forget me not.

So today I was searching through a bunch of old things. Firstly I love old things, they remind me of what is important in life and grab my attention to think on true priorities. So as I searched through photographs and letters I found a letter from my grandmother written four years ago when I moved to Australia. She had this elegance about her that I could tangibly feel as I read her handwritten statements of love. Ina Jones was proper, came from a wealthy background and as my mother would say 'good breeding' as if we are the pedigree or elite of society. Granny J was pretty, she was so intelligent and nothing about her was simple. She had this way of making you behave just by how she talked to you and held her posture. She hated that I bit my nails. She had beautiful hands, long nails and her veins would sit up on the backs of her hands because her skin was old. I was totally envious my whole childhood of her beautiful hands. They made her the most graceful woman on the planet I could watch her read, cook, or talk but the only thing I would watch would be those graceful utensils. I don't have hands like grandma, I have stubby fingers with big knuckles. My hands are super strong and my nails are short. I wish I could have her hands. Another thing about my grandmother was her mind, she was brilliant at puzzles, mind games and could always figure out the serial killer in movies just by watching the opening scene. One thing I did inherit was this... I always guess the killer!! She was the best at telling stories, she would tell us about the adventures she would have with her two brothers during the war, how she always wanted a bicycle and what life was like growing up being the only girl in a hedonistic society, how she fell in love with my grandfather and the beautiful depiction of love she and grandfather had meeting during the war. She was the epitome of a lady, not many knew of her wondrous talents, gifts and her mind for numbers, patterns and story telling on the spot. She would write letters to us at every Birthday, Christmas and special time addressing us as Miss. Ashley Jones and always signing with hugs and kisses. I never saw her loving anyone with big hugs or kisses, I don't think she was brought up in this way, but her way of loving was kind, considerate and bountiful in letters. My grandmother was never the center of attention, she stood afar off in photos gracefully poised sitting, or in the background doing something. I am generally not like this even though sometimes I wish I could be. Today I felt a closeness of something gone, I recognized all these things just by her hand writing, I felt her hold me as a child, could smell her, could see her hands. It was a moment when I couldn't forget her, it has lasted all day.

honesty is the best policy...

I raise a cup for new adventures and exciting things ahead... 

I am captivated by certain things in life. I believe these certain 'particulars' to not just be something to which I humbly profess as the most honest and real moments of life, but absolutely without doubt that they are sacred. These are the things I get a kick out of....

I love waking up to sunshine on my face. Nobody told me to like it- I just do. I also really love going to sleep when it rains or thunders, I feel so secure being inside.

I adore the smell of Autumn air. 

I love scarves, I used to dress up with them when I was small. I still remember that one lime green scarf of my grandmothers that I would adorn over my face and wrap around my hair and neck.

I can sit and think about the things I love all day. I love to love these things, its never wasted time.

I make lists of 'desires' nearly once a week. Things I want to achieve, things I want to wear, things I think will make me happy.

I own certain books that I can read, look through countless times and learn something new upon each time. 

I cannot resist fine fabrics. They feel like everything that makes me a lady.

I am in awe of glass things, I used to get lost in department stores, I would somehow always be found laying on the floor looking at the chandeliers. I love how glass changes, how it forms.

I am obsessed wood, with drift wood especially. I can touch it and look at it all day.

I think white is the best colour. 

I love open fire places. I have fond memories of falling asleep under the Christmas tree looking at the fairy lights and being warmed by the fire. 

Christmas is without a shadow of a doubt my favorite time of the year.

I love silk and cashmere. They are my favorite fabrics.

I love coffee, I don't drink it often, but I love the smell of fresh coffee and I love when someone really knows how to make it. This is the only time I will drink it.

I love brown leather boots,belts and bags, rarely will I wear any other colour than this. I don't understand why.

I think I was born to live in the country, but by city and the beach. I am trying to find a happy medium in Sydney. 

I love when people are honest. It has to be the one value I hold most close to my heart about friendships. Honesty is the best policy... 

Pressure

I am sitting awake trying to attain great grades whilst feeling a sense of pressure. I am aware of how my life is changing constantly and at the present time I feel a sense of limbo about everything. I am really seeking truth, what my life exists for beyond what I already know and how I am ever to go about doing the things that are within my heart. It's strange to be finishing up degree this year, it has been one of the best times in my life and although I don't want it to end, it must- part of me is so glad to not have to study in such an academic tone again.

 My passion has always been art, for the past four years I have only dipped my feet in it and my soul craves the feeling of oil paints between my fingers, sewing machines running as I draw with stitches, fabric dyes that excite the eye and huge-bigger-than-life-canvases that I can be at one with in my spirit. I ache to display the information in my soul. I cannot believe that these four years have been like this, how some days I feel like I am about to burst with paint out of my mouth, yet unable to express what I feel. Instead this colour, this emotion and strong sense of being has been put into academics, tightened into a small box called assignments and timed into moments alone before the dawn breaks, just trying to figure out who I am as I read in all honesty who Jesus is. Theology has changed me, it has also constrained me. 

I have to admit in this four years I have hidden myself, Although I'm pretty opinionated, enthusiastic and in your face... I have hidden even with my closest relationships who I am inside. It's funny how you get called 'the painter' or 'the singer' when really nobody has ever seen you paint, or heard you sing. I talked with my best friend about this the other day, it's as if these things are written all over your face. I feel like such a hypocrite when people say, "oh she's that painter" I feel like bluntly speaking what I ask inside, "How the hell do you know?" because none of me feels like a painter... not one ounce of me feels like I have a slightest memory of what it is to paint. Knowing that in just a short few months I have the choice to acquaint myself with an old friend (paint) I wonder will he still be my friend? Will I have changed so much that we do not recognize one another anymore? 

I bite my nails. 

pedagogue

The other day I was enjoying a few broken minutes of time between study and I decided to do a little personality survey. I have done many of these before as it seems in a Leadership College they are a bit obsessed with helping you find out what type of person you are, what you are great at and also how to help you strengthen in the weaker areas. So... after a few years of saying I am a choleric sanguine I decided to find out the other 'me' of leadership. After a few odd forty questions it was there... ENFJ Extrovert, Intellectual, Feeling, Judging. The quiz took me through what sort of person I most likely am, what my strengths were and my most horrid weaknesses in friendships, personhood and even relationships are. I have to say everything was correct with the exception of one sentence. Pretty good eh?! 

After examination of my personality I came across an incident where I realized something life changing. I only ever come across people who will either love me, think I am the bees knees, or... I come across people who absolutely hate me- no matter what I have done. In the past years I have found this most difficult to swallow, feeling insecure, trying to find a middle ground with that person etc... to no avail. I have no clue what the combination of 'me' that is so detestable, but generally I come across one person per year that just can't stand me. I used to feel so upset because I could not make them like me, or persuade them to see a nicer side to me. After spending my wasted energies I have learned that it's o.k. not to like everyone and that I can continue to be myself proudly and to not shrink back and to continue in love. I have come to be more confident from learning this and accepting of who I am. There is nobody like me, nobody like you. The World would be missing something if you didn't exist. It's not about people pleasing, otherwise World leaders would cower into corners, and it's not about everyone liking you, that doesn't sit well either. It's about making the difference that only YOU can make. make it a good difference... 

mediation meditation.

Church life has been wonderful, and wonderfully busy. We held our first Art from the Heart festival at Easter... what to say??!!! It was challenging, changing and influential. I love how we think that another event in Church is just so we have a versatile and influential church, however these things change us in ways that can never be placed in the boxes we try to put them in. I am remembering promises, I am remembering prayers and I am remembering prophecies. Things are happening...

Things are changing for me, the weather is changing and I can feel it affect me. The change is not just in the weather. It's in me. It is becoming winter here, it feels as if the past year has been a winter/spring sort of spiritual season. Spring is definitely under way, the expectations I had for this year are being met quicker than I had hoped. In 2008 my year motto was that it would be a year of growth and promise. For 2009 it is for this year to be one of prosperity, fulfillment and expansion. I sometimes forget my roots for the year, but the fruit on the tree and the stretching and expanding branches of my life are testament to the expectations that I place on myself and on my Father for living a life of purpose, destiny and fulfillment of His kingdom. I am reminded of these goals today as I feel the cold weather hit my toes and my nose. 

For the past three years some gifts in me have been silenced, I have not so tangibly felt the unction of God calling or drawing me to do something in particular like He did when He told me to come to college here, it was the most real feeling of life that I had ever felt. Since that time things have been in silence. The other day this unction came back. I felt it inside of me like as if I had just seen an old friend, it didn't feel different- it was familiar and felt so good. I actually had to stop and think about it, it was such a familiar feeling, but yet I hadn't experienced it in three years. This comes when I know that my Father is up to something, up for teaching me new things, up for breaking my stubborn back in worship, and up to guiding my direction.  

My prayer today; teach me. 

sniffle nose

Had a bit of a hectic and amazing week. We had our annual women's conference, but I aptly re-named it 'change the world conference' packed full of women who don't just want to hear a message of beauty (although that is of worth) but actually a company of women who believe that God has created us to be the solution, not a problem on the Earth. 

I was inspired, cried a full day and saw some of the best views of the City from the Shangrila Hotel...

It was immense and although I managed to get quite a lot of rest I was tired afterwards and am just now catching up with life and sleep( consequently I have a sniffle nose...). I have come to realize that Church here has truly become my home. Many of the other conferences I watched in full awe at the stage, the productions, the talent and the amount of people who come from all over the earth just for a few days in hope that God is going to do a new work and start something fresh in their hearts. This year @ Colour I sat every service in the front section, didn't ever feel like it was a conference or something I am just visiting, but rather my home- my pastors, their friends visiting to speak and generally HOME. God moved, spoke to me and I received with a grateful heart, but none of that had to do with the lights, none of it had to do with the preachers, it wasn't a message that I had never heard before, but as Lisa Bevere said 'it's just simply putting weight of what you already know in your hearts" All of what I heard was Him alone. I love that. 

So as I try to piece together my schedule and plan together the Art from the Heart Festival Gallery for Easter I am reminded that it is HE ALONE who satisfies me and who gives me good things. I will listen... not to the awe, but to the voice.